Three Options were provided for dealing with the fear, pain, loss, and confusion present during meetings. The main point for leaders dealing with these issues is to move your team, group, division, clients, etc., forward in the shortest possible timeframe. The strategy for implementing Option Three (Directly confront the issue) was to establish a few rules for conducting the conversation and asking questions. Let’s expand on this strategy.
First, establish a few short rules for conducting the conversation.
For example, one rule could be to limit the discussion of feeling to just work related issues (no discussion of losses in 401k or other personal investments; no discussion of politics, no discussion of rumors). Two SMART rules are 1) have people say their name first so others can clearly identify who is having a similar challenge, and 2) speak only from your own viewpoint. Be sure to set a timeframe for the discussion to take place as well.
If you do not clearly establish the rules for this discussion, your participants will make up their own rules. This is how most direct discussions go afoul – the leader never established ONE set of rules for everyone to follow.
Second, ask what and how questions and avoid why questions.
As Master Certified Coach, questions are my most powerful tool. Period! Advice, wisdom, experience, etc., pale in comparison to the power of asking the right question at the right time in the right way (hey, I didn’t say it was easy to ask great questions!). This is the skill set you want to develop if you desire being respected as a leader.
What and how questions channel people into giving answers based on observable (i.e. something outside of themselves) facts. Why questions require people to go inside and give rationalizations, interpretations, and justifications (all generally defensive in nature). Why questions also surface irrational and intangible fears. You CAN’T deal with irrational or intangible fears in your business meetings! There is a time and a place for why type questions yet this is not one of them.
Third, fiercely protect the right of each person to speak his or her truth (i.e. as long as it follows your rules and avoids the why question).
This is the concept of safe space. People will not speak honestly about their fear, pain, and loss, if there is any likelihood of being ridiculed. It is perhaps your most important role as the leader to insure the space during your meeting is safe.
Fourth, establish closure and move forward with your projects.
The way to establish closure is to declare the issue complete. Formally do this when you sense it is time to move forward or you are at the end of your allotted timeframe. Simply say, “I declare this issue complete.” If you have time remaining in your call, focus on small steps to get the group moving forward. If someone wants to revisit this discussion on a future call, remind them the issue is complete for the purposes of this meeting and that you’d be happy to talk with them offline about it later. Once you declare it complete, focus fully on the task and projects at hand.
Good luck! Please contact me if you are unsure about how to handle your specific situation.
Posted by Byron Van Arsdale
Twitter: @headset
Author – 16 Secrets to a Great Conference Call
ConferenceCallTraining.com
